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Updated: Apr 26, 2022

CHAPTER 1: Pet Loss, Guilt & Grief, and The Y & R

The current Young & Restless storyline triggered me, and I officially blame Y & R writers for this post. Honestly, it feels like those writers hacked my computer and read "a poem" I wrote back in 2020!! My busy-brain has detected numerous similarities but important differences too. What hit home (no pun intended, oops) for me on Wednesday's episode, was the depiction of fog and bright car lights ... but don't worry, you won't find any spoilers here.

It’s kind of ironic because for the past few weeks, I’ve experienced many losses. Thankfully, only small, and silly things – but even annoying inconveniences take their toll. For example, I was unable to renew my Medicare card because the paper I needed to pay for that renewal literally just blew away. It was in a tote bag, I promise. In fact, it was in a BIG tote bag too, but it was very windy that day. Note to self: Always keep important documents and letters in a bag that has a zipper. Did I mention that happened ON MY BIRTHDAY? Don't get me started on the expensive "Water Tax" discovery. Since when? 🥺🤷‍♀️ More recently, I permanently lost my Instagram account because I registered with an email address I rarely use and completely forgot ever even existed. Completely my fault, and extra annoying, because I think this is actually the second time this has happened to me (🤦‍♀️x🤦‍♀️= EXTRA 🤦‍♀️) support was amazing; very kind, fast and efficient but if you don’t log- in to an account after 6 months, they kill that email. Technically, my INSTA account isn’t dead and buried. I can see it, you can see it, but I can’t upload anything to it, so it isn't useful anymore. May my address and Insta account both rest in peace.

It’s spring so I was hoping for a fresh start and looking forwards because, "You can't live your life looking in the rear-view mirror". The Y & R storyline tugged and dragged me right back to the past. It reminded me of a "semi-poem" I wrote when my pet passed. I’d like to share that creative piece of writing, even though it was my first attempt at poetry writing. My COVID hobby is poetry writing. Did you discover a new interest thanks to COVID? This blog is where I will share my poetic journey. I will describe how I went about teaching myself to write a poem including my favorite poems & poets, websites, books and more. To be clear, this blog is aimed at the complete beginner, the hobbyist. Niflheim (aka A World of Fog) was written back in March of 2020. Niflheim (pronounced “NIF-el-hame;” from Old Norse Niflheimr, “World of Fog”) is one of the Nine Worlds of Norse mythology and the homeland of primordial darkness, cold, mist, and ice.

🚩🚨IMPORTANT🚨🚩: For now, I will refer to Niflheim as a "semi-poem" because that is shorter than saying, "sentences that rhyme" and "not a story but also not a poem". Should I revise the semi-poem below using proper poetic structure? I'd like to turn it into a traditional narrative poem. Does it have any potential in helping others deal with loss?


By: Wendy Yudkovitch

It was a somber scene,

Unlike anything she had ever seen.

The silver sky was grey as ash,

She had been thoughtless and rash.

The truth was hidden from her like barely visible trees on a foggy day.

She had lost her way and the gravest price she would soon pay.

Like flying through smoky, poisonous pillows of puff & fluff,

She drove into thick dark cotton-candy clouds.

Panicking, her heart began to thump so LOUD,

An eerie sound, never ever heard before, echoed aloud.

Fast as a flash,

With no sound of a crash,

Every cloud in the sky burst,

Like a divine emotional outburst.

The rain came down faster than a speeding plane.

Idiot,” she thought “stay in your lane.”

This stressful ordeal could drive anyone insane!

It was a loosing battle against time,

because she didn’t see the sign.

Our race against time was lost,

and now we would both pay the ultimate cost.

Too fast time flew,

Part of her knew,

Tragically, our special, loving time together was through!

Why hadn't she acted sooner?

Why did she wait?

Could I have been spared this horrific fate?

Oh, how she wished my death could be unseen,

And that unspeakably harrowing day had just been a nightmarish dream!

No one heard my scream echo, bellow & beam.

I’m still so angry,

She didn’t even give me morphine!

There is plenty that I could explain about my semi-poem, but I will leave that for my next post. Writing Niflheim helped me cope with losing my pet. It was a way to channel everything I was going through. I think I should change, “dark cotton-candy clouds” to something else because those words don’t really make sense, but I’ve moved on to other projects. However, my decision to write a poem from my dead pet’s perspective is still, years later, intriguing to me and I’d like to attempt that technique again soon. Anthropomorphism is fun! Tik-Tok is a popular home for talking animals, but they are all living. I put a twist on that idea. Pets are special, they know more than they get credit for because of their senses. I’m a complete beginner but I have learned that writing from your senses is key. I'd like to end all of my blog posts by sharing random stuff that I believe you may enjoy too. Let me know what you think of this section of my post by leaving me a comment.


I 10/10 recommend that you...

A) ...listen to the song "Rest in Peace" by the unbelievably talented BluEyes. Click this link to hear this beautiful and relatable song:

B) ... watch this video⬇️ of Goldie Carmella & Poppie Autumn Belle!

Until next time, go hug your pet and give them extra cuddles, snuggles and treats! 💗💝💗



PS - If you read this post, please leave a comment. Say, "Hi". Ask me a question. Would you like to read another post about pet loss? Would you like to see a revised version of World of Fog or a list of tips to heal from loss? How did you find my blog and why did you read this post?🤷‍♀️

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